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Long Time, No Light Saber

July 20, 2010

Yes, I know. I own calendars and clocks, too, and I know how long it’s been. Thing is, I’ve been actually dating, instead of writing about dates for you non-daters. There has been drama. There has been an awkward moment of two of realizing you know a lot of the same people and not in a good way, more like a biblical way. There have been so many fellas eager to pick up the check that I simply don’t have the energy to chew all that free food anymore. There have been some bad decisions that I’d rather not talk about, and there has been at least one very emotional Jerry Maguire-type speech, and potentially another to come. And guess what: that means I’ve got some sloppy messes left to clean up.

Understand, please, that this is what I have done: I’ve offered my own real life as a proving ground for blog fodder. I don’t use fake profiles or fake names and none of this is acting. This is my dating life, slightly altered for privacy, slightly exaggerated for comedic effect. Problem is, it’s hard to be funny when you get your heart broken. Harder still when you fall in love.

Dry your eyes, though, kids. More content’s a-coming. You’ll get some Grade A YANAJ insight, including how to shuffle your feet in a not-too-conspicuously uncomfortable way when the topic of circumcision comes up on the first date, not turning down the setup date (a little less chooser, a little more beggar, y’all), lifting AND scrubbing behind one’s balls (AKA, collision insurance on blowies) and why all the fat dudes should hate Family Guy instead of loving it so damn much.

Right now, though, I’m going to put my carcass in bed. Four dates, one “I love you” and one “we have to talk” in one weekend is too much for any girl, especially this one. Let me get my shit in a pile, y’all. And then I’m returning. Not unlike a Jedi. Except there’s no such damn thing.

In the mean time, please listen to what this man says.

Love,

NaJ

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Anonymous Jedi permalink
    August 1, 2010 9:52 pm

    Actually, “Light Saber” is one word: lightsaber.

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